is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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