It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
