you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
