Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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