First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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