where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
