The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
