Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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