Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
