the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
