Don't make out with my wife yet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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