is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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