Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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