why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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