Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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