Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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