dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize