i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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