please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
