got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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