There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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