Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
