this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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