You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
