You're so nebulous sometimes
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize