great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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