Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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