Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
