what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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