Taylor Swift is so right about you.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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