I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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