people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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