is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
