We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize