just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
