I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
