i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am never drinking with the goths again.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
