how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
