im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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