So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
