so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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