Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
