There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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