exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
