Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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