i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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