I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
