Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
