break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize