He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
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