Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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