I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
