Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
