dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
