she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
