he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
