Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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