i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
