Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
