There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
In America we eat man semen.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
