I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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