that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
