just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
