Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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