Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
