Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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