he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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