he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
