He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
