If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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