i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
