Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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(803): View more from South Carolina

When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.

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(+39): View more from

my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.

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(936): View more from Texas

Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.

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(210): View more from Texas

Road construction signs are deceptively heavy

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...

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(845): View more from New York

I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.

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(620): View more from Kansas

Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo

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