Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
